WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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