I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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