just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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