we have officially lost it.
you would pick up someone in the library
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize