I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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