I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
