You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
