JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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