I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
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The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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