My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
