I'm going to jail i love you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sorry my hands just texted you
3 2 1 whiskey
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
