Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
