I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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