this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize