Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
