Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
