wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
