We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
