the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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