walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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