this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
