he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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