i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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