awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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