$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
