I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Are we still banned from the library?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
