oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
