HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The ass gains better be worth it
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