My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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