Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
