new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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