she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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