I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
