i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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