Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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