There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
