Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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