Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
