No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
