Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
