I hate your face
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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