Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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