Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
