We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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