She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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