I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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