i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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