I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
