hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
