maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
