maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
