I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
