whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
