The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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