there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
