Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
